Impact of IVF on Romantic Relationships

Researchers at the Department Of Psychology at the university of Leuven in Belgium, have found that a couples ability to handle the stresses of assisted conception is dependent on pre-existing behavior patterns in their personality and in the strength of their relationship with each other.

They studied 70 couples who were having IVF and ICSI by conducting a psychological evaluation at the start of the treatment, followed by a second assessment three months later and a third and final assessment six months into the treatment, with the aim of determining their state of mind during the IVF process and their relationship satisfaction.

IVF was thought to put a strain on some marriages, particularly if a couple had been going through the process for a long time, but they discovered that the more embedded a couple were within their relationship and the closer they were, the more they were able to cope with their infertility and treatments. (Fertility And Sterility, Volume 91, Issue 2, Pages 387-394 February 2009).

Failed IVF May Bring You Closer

A similar study in Sweden, involved 45 couples. They were assessed in ten areas of their relationship, firstly after an IVF failure, then six months and 18 months after the event. Coping with the disappointment of an unsuccessful IVF cycle actually strengthened their relationship as they leaned on each other for emotional support. They were able to discuss their feelings with each other and members of their family, with ease, and it strengthened their perception of their role within marriage.

Reducing the Stress in Your Relationship

Feeling in control of your own medical treatment is the key to avoiding unnecessary stress in your marriage. Before you embark upon IVF, read as much as you can about the different options available to you. Go to IVF counseling together. If there are any training sessions, such as those for self-injections, make sure your partner comes with you.

The studies above have shown that how you deal with IVF can be dependent on your personality, so if you've had any problems in your marriage prior to the treatment, you are likely to during treatment. If you have any communication issues, try to iron these out before commencing treatment.

If you've recently been married, wait a little while before starting IVF. Research shows that couples who have been together a few years, support each other more effectively.

Choose a close friend or family member who you can confide in, in addition to your partner so that you are not getting all of your support from one person. Make sure the person you choose, approves of what you are trying to do so you know you will get the help you need.

You could even pick an internet site for other people going through infertility problems and speak to people via that. They will know what you are going through.

Find some time during the week where you don't think or talk about IVF. Have a romantic evening where you go out to dinner or do something fun that both of you enjoy, and make it the same time each week.

Relaxation is important and may even make the difference between IVF failure or success.